A few months back, I found myself in quite a quandry and my first reaction to the situation was one of profound sadness and feeling betrayed, misunderstood and unloved. Three of the most powerfully negative emotional effects one can experience. After much introspection, the following is the Truth I have found and I hope it helps you in some way on your own journey.
My first admonition to everyone is the power of forgiveness. I cannot put into words the multi-dimensional affects forgiveness offers those who give it. In my experience, forgiveness is not about the other person – it’s soley about you, the one forgiving. It’s power infuses grace, peace, strength, and most of all, cleansing into an otherwise dark night.
Forgiveness cleanses the forgiver of those negative emotions that would otherwise be crippling, gripping one in an endless sea of bitterness and resentment, and can diffuse even the most awful conflict into one of growth and peace. It’s not meant to make the other person see your point of view and it’s not about giving up your own point of view. It is, however, about allowing yourself to move forward and feel grace, compassion. It is about diffusing your own inner conflict and thoughts. It is about getting rid of that which does not serve you.
We cannot intercede in anothers growth and must realize, as Al says, that whatever happens is for the best and highest good of all concerned. The gift is in understanding what that means for you. The gift is in allowing yourself to grow, to heal, and to be a light for others. For we can only truly lead by example.
Likewise, we cannot force our forgiveness on the other person. We can only offer it in the hopes it will be received. And it will. But not necessarily at the moment it’s given. See, the other person must also forgive before they can truly receive the forgiveness you have offered them. As the law states, you cannot receive what you do not first give. In other words, if you want money, you must first give it. If you want peace, you must first give it. If you want love, you must first give it. And if you want forgiveness, you must first give forgiveness.
So, I urge you, whomever has done you wrong, has trespassed against you, forgive them. Willingly, openly, freely. And it will release you from what binds you. And when that person is open enough within their own heart to receive your forgiveness, it will be there waiting for them. Meanwhile, it will open all kinds of doors for you that will surely remain closed otherwise. Set yourself free and learn to forgive wholly and completely.
The second act I would like to share with you is love. Now, I’m not talking about the love like you have for your spouse or partner or for you children. I’m talking about the kind of love that exudes kindness, compassion, warmth and honor. The kind that swells your heart with gratitude, that embodies light and consideration and fuels hope. The kinds that speaks without words. I’m talking about the kind of love that dispells fear and anger and hatred, that reforms chaos. Many seek this kind of love though few ever actually achieve it. But I’ll tell you where it starts — with true forgiveness.
Like forgiveness, we can only receive the love we have given. We can only experience what we honor, what we exemplify, what we live. Again, I urge you to love your neighbor, to love your enemy with compassion and joy. To be of service to your fellow humankind. Above all, love one another and lead by example for when you do, all other pieces begin to fall into place with an order and a flow so divine, you will experience the ultimate bliss of living.
Follow your heart, my friends. Listen to it’s whispers as they are the voice of the angels, the voice of God.
Blessings all ways,